Horror Stories

Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:41 pm

Tom, that $200 for a split made me LOL in my office.
Around 1980 I got my first full time job at an audio house doing spoken word type of stuff. One of the main gigs was to go to real estate conventions and record the sessions. We did it with feeds to a shure mic mixer split to a cassette recorder and a slow speed Teac 4 track. One person handling 4 sessions at a time. Tried to master on cassette, but if we messed up or the casette master got eaten, we could go back to the reel to reel and make a new one. Straight away the cassette master went down to the lobby were a nice looking female sold them after us schlepers high- speed duped cassettes on those Wollensaks. God bless those Wollensaks, but they ate a lot of tape. We paid for "house feeds" Once at the Stouffers
in Washington DC we follow the "house engineer" back to the patch panel, which was in the AC mains room. We look at each other as said Oh-oh.
You guessed it. Feeds were full of 60-120-240-480 and whatever else. Just as loud as the audio. I quickly ran to each room and put a home made XLR splitter on the mic cables (never do this) and ran hundreds of feet cabling.
All the while the "house engineer" was giving me the eye, following me. Started saying something about "no splits" on their equipment. Almost a fight.
BTW, I didn't work there long. The owner had instructed the girl down in the lobby to tell purchasers of these tape to abbreviated the name of the company on the checks people wrote, which just so happened to be the owners abbrevited name. Half of the checks went to his own personal bank account. IRS got him and he was SOL.

Tom, do you know the Fries in Oberlin?

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:12 am

Until JoeH gets around to posting sections 2 and 3 of his epic novel....

We were going to record a children's choir in a beautiful Catholic Church. We got to the gig and the father asks that we not disturb the church or the congregation that will be at the concert. Sure no problem. He shows us where he would like us to set up. So we start to run our microphone cords and power cords and find that the church is all still two wire with no ground. Since we always have adapters along and since we run an ISO transformer on the AC no real problems. We get all setup and it is about 10 minutes before the concert is ready to go. In walks another priest and he asks us what we are doing. I reply that we are getting ready to record the concert in the church. He says that he is the senior priest and that he does not like where we have set up and we have to move our equipment immediately and it has to be in the the back of the church behind the audience. This is a BIG church. We already have about 50 feet of microphone cords between us and the microphone and the back of the church is at least another 75 feet away and we have five microphone lines laid out. Not a time to argue but I politely told him that the concert was ready to start and that we could not move all of the equipment in the time alloted. He was insistent and even went as far as to walk over and pull out the AC power cord. OK so this guy is somewhat of a jerk but since he is in charge we have to obey his wishes. I talk to the choir director tell her our problem and ask her to delay the start of the concert for a couple of minutes which she says she will do "but only for a couple of minutes" We move the bulk of our equipment to the back I get new microphone lines laid out and suddenly realize that there are no outlets in the back of the church at least none I can find readily and we don't have a 75 foot extension cord. There is an audience present while all of this is going on. One guy gets up and walks over and says he noticed what was going on and why did we decide to move everything at the last minute. I told him what had transpired with the father and he said he understood. He was a member of the church and when I told him that we could not find an outlet and that the concert was ready to begin he said he could help us. He went out of the church and came back with a 100 foot extension cord that was bright orange in color and was 3 #12 wires. It was, excuse the pun. a God send and we were back in business. After the concert the first priest came up to us an apologized for the older senior priest and told us that technically he was retired but like to still think he was in charge. The recording came off without a hitch and we were really thankful that the person from the congregation came forward when he did. He was literally "heaven sent"

We had been hired to do a recording in a church in Cleveland. It was of a musical arts society and we had never done them before. I went to the church early in the week to scout it out and it was in a very bad section of Cleveland and not a place that I would like to have been after dark but luckily this concert was in the day time. At the same time we were getting ready to do this concert we got another gig for the same day so the person who normally helps me was going to do the other concert at the same time I was doing this one. I talked to the choir director of the musical arts society and asked her for a floor plan of where things were going to be set up. She drew the plan and it was pretty normal with the choir in the choir pews and a small ensemble and organ closer to the front of the Church. This was a massive Baptist Church and had a domed ceiling. It was set up rather strangely in that the organ was dead center, the choir to the right in pews and the lectern for the minister on the left of the church. So I determined what equipment I would need and what would be needed by my associate and the day of the concerts we loaded up our vehicles and went to our concerts. This church that I was doing took up an entire block and I had to park on a side street. I went into the church to make sure it was open and walked inside. The musical arts society was rehearsing but their setup was not what they had given me. The ensemble was now where there lectern had been and part the choir had moved out of the pews and onto the floor in chairs in front of the organ. There was also antiphonal choir of brass that was in the rear of the church. I started to unload my equipment and setup and when there was a break in the action I went up to the choir director and asked "so why all the changes" she said "well we just decided this this morning" NICE!

I was going to use a Decca tree and some spot microphones but this was going to be a much bigger setup than I had anticipated so what to do. I had the Decca tree with me and two additional microphone and half the amount of cable I normally carry since my associate need the rest of the stuff for his gig. This church was HUGE and I was starting to sweat since I did not have anywhere near enough cable to run lots of cables. I set up to the left of the church in an alcove and set the Decca Tree in the middle of the church and the spot microphones in stereo on the ensemble.

The recording came out OK but with lots of reverb and space around it. The director of the musical arts society was pleased with it but it would have been much better if she had let me know in advance of all the changes as I could have borrowed some additional equipment from a friend and done a somewhat better job. It seem no matter how much pre planning one does it can get undone in a very short time by people who aren't thinking of the total picture and what their last minute decisions are doing to the successful taping of the concert. Oh well I love this business but some of the people - FORGET IT!

JoeH I can't wait to hear some of the rest of your epic.

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:13 am

Tom, do you know the Fries in Oberlin?

Yes I do but they have moved and are no longer in Oberlin.

Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 7:57 am

Just in case anyone thinks that we have problems on every gig (as was pointed out to me in a private email) let me assure you that most of our gigs go extremely well and most people are very easy to work with. There are some gigs that will forever be memorable for how great they sounded and how great the recordings were of the concert but this thread is about Horror stories so they don't really belong here.

Being in the business for over 35 years one gets to accumulate a lot of fond memories and some not so fond ones.

I hope JoeH gets a chance to post some more of his epic fairly soon.

Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:20 am

We did a recording last night in a beautiful new church. The client was one of our oldest and we have been doing work for them since 1990. The concert was a choral group and piano (or so we had been told). We did a pre concert site visit last Monday and it looked like an easy gig. The church would be letting us use their microphone snake and we had a nice place to setup at the back of the church. We were doing the video and audio recording of the concert.

Normally this client sends us a copy of the program but this time due to some last minute personal changes they "forgot".

We got to the church about 2 hours before the concert. The church was located about 45 minutes from our office. We decided to do the concert with PZM microphones (because of the video taping) and we brought along a couple of extra microphones (just in case) and one microphone stand.

When we arrived at the hall we noticed that there were music stands and chairs setup IN FRONT of the chorus. I asked our contact what was going on and she told me that they were doing Vivaldi's Gloria and that there was a chamber orchestra. (no mention of this previously and no program to go from)

We asked the church if they had any high stands but of course they did not. So we decided to go with what we had and use the PZM microphones. The sound in the recording was balanced a lot more toward the orchestra but it sounded good just the same.

After the concert as we were cleaning up there was a father who wanted to take a picture of his son at the piano and without looking stepped on one of our PZM microphones and like someone who has just gotten doggie do on his shoe he kicked the microphone off the stage and down three steps on to the floor. I went over to him and asked for his name and phone number in case the microphone was damaged. He demanded that we check it out right now to which I replied that we were in no position to do so at that moment and I would call him later. He said "well how do I know you will not just tell me it is broken" and I said "because I am a very honest person and would not do anything like that"

I will from now on ask for a program if it is not provided and will make sure they are giving me all the facts BEFORE THE CONCERT. I will also start carrying a high stand and X-Y mount in case we run into this problem again. End of story.... FWIW

Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:44 am

I have nothing to compare to the stories of other members here, but I was a sound engineer (probably not valid to use the word "engineer" actually) at a home shopping network for a little over a year.

This network was financed on a shoe string with no money for wireless LAV's. At the same time the owners wanted the talent to stand on an open set and move around while they hosted the show. Sometimes they'd move from one set to another (a good 20 feet) dragging the tiny LAV cable behind them, stepping on it, and generally throwing tantrums because they couldn't get wireless mics.

It became common practice for the mics to go dead in the middle of a program, and cut to music while I took a new one out. Then I would sit back at my audio console and try to solder the tiny wires back into place before they broke the next mic.

Not to mention the lousy old IFB system, worn out board, consumer grade compressor (I was the only one who knew how to work it and the settings were always messed up when I came in), sharing equipment with other sound guys who had no idea what they were doing, etc.

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 5:54 pm

We did a gig today at a converted movie theater. It was for a children's choir. We always seem to have problems with the owner of this place so we decided to have a pre production meeting with the owner about a month ago. The client was there, we were there and the owner was there. Everything was agreed on and the minutes of the meeting were sent to everyone for there comments and approvals. We thought it would be a worry free event.

Today we get to the theater. We were suppose to be there by 2:00 pm and we arrived at 1:55 pm. We unloaded the gear and got ready to set up. We were doing the audio recording and the video recording with three cameras. The concert started at 3:30 pm with the doors opening at 3:00 pm. We were going to use their audio board and our microphones. They have a good quality board and we have tied into it before.

When we arrived to set up the section of the technical bench at the rear of the house was not cleared as it was suppose to be and there is a video projector and a bunch of equipment laying on the bench where our cameras were suppose to go. I spoke to the client that had hired us and they went off to get the owner. He came in a while latter and said that he thought that we were not coming because we were not there when he expected us to be there at 12:30 pm. Even though the schedule we were ALL working from said we would arrive at 2:00 pm. We had agreed that we would be in control of their audio board and it would feed our equipment with a stereo feed but instead he said we had a MONO feed and he had someone working the board for sound check and the owner said "now would not be a good time to replace the person doing the concert sound." He said that if I really wanted to he would let me setup the board my way but that I would have to guess at all the levels since the sound check had been going on since 12:30 pm. I tried to explain how the board can do many things at once and that we would not be interfering with the concert sound since we were being fed off an aux output.

My associate who was running one of the cameras and who knew how important the sound is to the group said "we were promised a stereo feed at the meeting and now you are giving us a mono feed". "What gives" and the owner started to get huffy and at one point told my associate to "shut up or I will throw you out of the theater" Cooler heads prevailed and the owner went off to check his copy of the meeting notes.

When he came back he cleared off the technical bench and we set up our cameras and the audio recorders with the mono feed. The person working the audio board looked like he was about 14. The concert started and we started recording. At the first intermission the audio feed goes dead as the children's choir was going off stage. I look at the person running the board and he looks bewildered but realizes that we were depending on him for a feed. So he turns it back on just in time for the choir to start singing. We got some good video and some very mediocre audio but this is not the first time I have had problems with this owner and he ALWAYS says one thing in the meetings and then forgets or changes the game plan after we arrive. At the end of the concert as the parents were clapping loudly the board operator turns off our feed again but I think we can splice in some applause from an earlier time.

Not a fun experience....

Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:52 am

Just had a horror story last night....
Fortunately, it didn't go as badly as it could have, but nonetheless, it reminded me of countless other similar situations...

So, I was recording a "multi-ensemble" event (with a wind ensemble, orchestra, choir, jazz band, etc.) This was the second week of the event and thus the second recording.

On the first week, I showed up a couple hours before the concert and found out about 35 minutes prior to the downbeat that there would be a mic'ed vocalist during one of the numbers. With no time to interface with the house system, I just had to let it roll.

When I showed up last night, I arrived about an hour before the downbeat. (Most of my stuff was still set up - I just had to hang mics and plug in the computer). Well, there were a handful of mics sitting on stands and a PA system on the front of the stage. Bear in mind, the auditorium seats between 350 and 400 and the stage is small. A 60 person ensemble fills the stage to capacity.

I went to find out what was going on and found out that one of the conductors had brought his PA system to mic the jazz band and to spot mic one of the choirs. The mics were 2 AKG C3000s, 1 C414 and 1 SM57 (or similar, didn't get a close look and there's only 50 mics that look like the 57 from 15 feet away...)

Anyway - the mic setup on the big band (roughly 25-30 person big band) was 57 in front of trumpet soloist in place (back row), C3000s in front of the saxes (front row) and the 414 in the bones in a Fig 8 (capsules facing down the row of bones). The purpose of the 414 was to pick up the trumpets. I didn't have the heart to debate the merits of aiming the trumpets at the null of a fig 8 for reinforcement.

For the choir, it was C3000s spaced over the choir, 57 over violin/flute soloists and 414 over piano (closed lid).

I will say to the gentlemen's credit who had set it up that the PA system was delightfully LOW in amplitude. Actually it was so low that I could barely perceive it being on. (Thank GOD!)

However, this brings up so many other horrible nightmares!

Lately, so many amateur orchestras have decided that they need to mic themselves for the audience in a concert hall..... Confused

What the hell?!

A concert hall is designed to PROJECT the sound and any orchestra should never need to amplify themselves!!! I don't know where this trend is heading, but it scares me. For every 10 acoustic events that I do, 2 of them or more use reinforcement microphones inappropriately!!! Then they expect it to actually HELP me or make my job easier!!!

I actually had a (well-intentioned) client recently suggest that I could use his reinforcement system to record his (semi-pro) choir as the previous guy did. He assured me that his gear was top notch and they spared absolutely no expense. Fortunately, I showed up with my own gear since his system consisted of 4 SM58s and an old (very old) Peavey live sound board.

Anyway...venting over.

Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:24 pm

Cucco

I use to record the Cleveland Orchestra at Blossom Music Center (the summer home of the Cleveland Orchestra) It is an outdoor pavilion and there are lots and lots of lawn seats for every concert. A good friend of mine did the PA and I did the recording and we both took off the same microphone splitter. One forth of July I was recording the concert and 'poof' all the microphones went dead all at the same time. I ran upstairs to the sound board and all his microphones were dead as well. We both rushed to the basement to the microphone splitter fearing the worst that the phantom power supply was blown and we would be down for the rest of the night. We walked into the room (which was down in the sub basement) and it smelled like burnt hair and burnt hamburger. There on the floor was a dead rat and he had gnawed his way though the power cord going to the power supply for the phantom and met his maker. We got some tools, a roll of duct tape and in about two minutes had the wires spliced back together and the circuit breaker reset and I was on my way to do the recording and my friend to do the concert sound. The rest of the night was uneventful.

As to why everyone has to amplify everything I have nary a clue but I think it has to do with an aging population who go to a lot of classical concerts and simply complain to the management that they cannot hear so the management puts in or rents a concert sound system. The problem is, and I have run into this more than once, is that a lot of the people supplying concert sound equipment and an operator are usually more use to doing ROCK N ROLL and have NO CLUE as to how a classical concert is suppose to sound. They mic everything and they try and balance the sound in the hall the way they would do a rock concert so the percussion and solos are REALLY LOUD and everything else sounds like a MUDDY MESS.

Better luck next time and I certainly feel your pain...

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