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Croakus
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Joined: Nov 04, 2006
Posts: 53


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gimmie gear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The song is “Stuck at the Starting Line” and it's on my MySpace page:

http://www.myspace.com/dseger

I’d like to get some input on the lyrics, arrangement, etc. Some specific questions include:

1) Does it need a bridge?
2) Does it sound too typical? IE: do you think it sounds original, or have I just written another mass produced radio drone?
3) I think it starts out a little slow. Would it help if I start by singing the hook once? Not the whole chorus, just “Stuck at the Starting Line” and then modulate up to the verse.

Thanks in advance.
-David Seger


Last edited by Croakus on Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Croakus
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Joined: Nov 04, 2006
Posts: 53


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Books To Read
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gimmie gear

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

So the song is completely perfect and requires no changes at all? Wink

Or perhaps it's so bad there are no words? Sad

Seriously though, any comments are welcome - on either end of that scale. I'm just trying to improve as a writer.

Thanks,
-David
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SamTheBassist
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Joined: Sep 09, 2005
Posts: 42
Location: Hyde Park, New York


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 10:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

well I'm in the same position as you are.
I just posted a message asking for advice just like you did!
So maby we could give eachother advice.
in my opinion, the concept of the song is great. maby you could add some extra simple instruments in the second half or in the end such as a tamborine of a shaker.
great song though.

well if you dont mind taking a listen to my song, heres a link to my post.
http://recording.org/ftopict-40710.html

hey send me a friend request sometime.
myspace.com/SamMillerAcoustic
see ya arround
-Sam

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