I think you're on the right track.
Scorewise, the only thing I see missing might be that the timp parts sound like they're rolling where as yours sound like single hits.
Soundwise, can you get better distinction between the brass and strings?
Mixwise, The original horns are a little thinner. Yours are fatter. The original is a little more distant. Your's is a little too much in your face.
So keep working on the eq, and place your whole 'orchestra' in a bigger hall.