Welcome to RO!
I'm by no means a Pro so take what I say with a grain of salt! The main thing I noticed, and it kinda hit me in the face right off the bat, was some timing issues. Kinda seemed all over the place? IMO the best mix and tones in the world don't mean much if there are distracting intrument mistakes such as timing. One other thing was vocal mix was a really low to my taste. I couldn't understand a word you were singing. It was still high enough, however, to hear a lot of pitch and timing issues.
IMO you should fix the timing, and pitch issues before you spent too much time trying to the your mix levels right. Maybe retrack some things or dive into a good long session of stretching all your audio in time. Retracking would probably be quicker. Once you get it all tightened up I think you'll have a great tune. Then go to work on mixing and finishing it up.
On the flip side, you seem to be a really creative dude! I like alot of what you did. The melody was catchy, you got pretty creative with some of the harmonies and such. Keep it up.