Thread: WHAT ARE THE WEAK POINTS OF THIS SONG?

Thomas, I would say the song needs to be short and too the point. Ending it at the 3min mark would do it for me. I like the modulation in the chorus, it drives the song pretty good. I often make the same mistake with going farther, IMO people like short tunes. The message is certainly there in this song, but just like any good story you need to hook the attention of the listener which I think you have done here well.

Everyone wants something different, so I am only giving you my perspective on this. Generally, when singing myself I look for a melody and chord that resonates with the story. I tend to write in minor keys when dealing with difficulty because it reflects my personality, so a minor to Major type modulation, or key change may fit? I don't know perhaps you could try it?

As far as the production goes, I think something needs touching up, the drums. They sound like they are samples. Nothing wrong with that if that is what you are shooting for, but to me it would take the song up a notch if you could make them better, specifically the snare drum.

Also, I would comment that the vocalist has a thick kind of chorus effect or has a quality that is laking something, I feel like she is holding back for some reason, like the song needs more strength, not that the vocalist is not a good fit. It just seems like she is not quite there yet. Perhaps a deeper tone would add to the song? I tend to like a dry vocal but thats just me. I do not know if that makes sense but there is my two cents.

Cheers and happy new year,
Bret

Thanks for the review.

Hmmm, song length could be a topic for discussion.
I like 'Hey Jude', but I could agree that 'Whip My Hair Back n Forth is 3min too long.

Hopefully a few more listeners will chime in.
It's a tough crowd here sometimes.

The piano and vocals lacked some clarity and the vocals became too echo-ee during the chorus (e.g., minute 1:24). It sounded like excessive reverb to me and began to blend/ drown out a lot of the instruments. Pull the electric guitar to the right of the stereo spectrum (pan right approx. +20) and move the backing vocals right as well (pann right +12) and EQ them slightly so they don't blend with the lead. Keep the lead vocal centered as is.

How much compression is on this track? It sounded a bit squashed and hollow.

I liked the arrangement at minute 3:25 when the music transitions from the interlude. Nice electric guitar solo.

Those are just my immediate observation. Take them with a grain of salt.

Sounds a bit like a Meatloaf arrangement with the voice of Rush (IMHO).

Thank you for your insight.

It does appear that there's a consensus growing regarding excessive fx on the vocals. (not only from Jammster and Mdb but from other sources as well)

Not sure about the compression issue. No other reports concerning it yet. There's a mild compression on the 2 buss and the final limiter barely triggers. I wonder if there's a noticeable difference between headphones and speakers. I always felt Im very conservative in my squashing technique. (but I'm always learning)

I do like the idea of Meatloaf meet Rush.

Need more data though.

What equipment are you using to record with and how is your recording space (treatment)? I was listening to your song through headphones, but they're the same set I use to mix with and listen to other music in.

The lead vox sounds alright at the very beginning of the song, but gets muddied in the chorus when all the instruments come in along with the backing vox. They're all conflicting at that point. Far too much reverb/ chorus effect on the backing vox (or whatever you used) and the instruments are on the verge of overpowering the lead vox there. The drums could be lowered a tad (IMO), but others might like it just fine.

Well, as far as equipment goes, I'm not sure how that plays into the critique. But the list of outboard gear, instruments, amps, synths, plugins, etc might be a little lengthy. Recorderwise, we're working in a Pro Tools/Logic environment mostly, if that's what you're looking for. I hope that doesn't change your opinon.

Now as far as recording space. That's a good part of the reason for these postings. It's a new home recording space that we've been tweeking for the past year or so.
To quote/paraphrase Stephen St Croix, " you don't know what your primary room sounds like until you build your 2nd room"
So we're using all of you kind recording professionals as our 2nd 3rd 4th... rooms.
The commercial recording studio I used to work at gave me lots of opportunity to fine tune the mixing and the room to get hi quality results by recording literally thousands of artists over the years. All different styles of music, quality of musicianship, deadlines, etc.

Working at home, it's a much slower work ethic. This really is a work in progress.
So the more opinions we can get from as many different environments as possible really helps.

Thanks,
t

I asked about the equipment because (as you know) it can affect the final outcome drastically. My home recording space doesn't have the best equipment and any of our sound sources miked pay for it in recording quality. Just thought that possibly a piece of gear or mic choice may be contributing to the finished product. It sound like you have a lot more experience than I so don't listen to me...

Keep it up.

Too late, I've already listened, and we've already taken steps to integrate some of your ideas that have been supported by others.
We could move faster if we had more opinions from more people though.
so stay tuned.