Hi GentleG !! I am at my day job(until they close !), I'll give this a listen when I get home... Glad to see you are staying busy writing music !! TTYL tonight ! -Steve
A new song for you all to critique
http://www.goltstein.com/temp/work.mp3 (128 kbps mp3)
I've been working on this one for months
and I still have my doubts...
I can't put my finger on it.
So I guess it's time for you guys to give me a reality check.
[I'm no longer sure wether I like this one (basically) or whether I like how it could be (something in my head). arrangement, mixing, I'm lost]
So every comment is very welcome
Dloading on a 56k connection, will reply once I get a good listen to this one....
Hmmmm.... This definitely falls in the dark ambient/electronica category.... OK, that string sound in the intro was driving me off the wall, at the turnaround things got better(2:15), but in the intro and first verses I was really annoyed by the strident string thing, maybe a weird synth sound, more like a PWM wave being swept by an envelope kind of deal, or a buzzy exotic kind of pad instead ?? At 2:15 it changes and there is less of that string sound. You definitely capture the darkness of this piece, but being electronica, I don't know how well the string and cello part fit in. Just my subjective opinion... The mix and sonic energy your'e projecting is first class, my speakers were pumping. Since you have these repeating verses coming up, why not start building up the tune and add more synth elements, and maybe kick in some sub bass as you get further in the song ? I kept waiting for a buildup, it would have made the song even more ominous and surprising... I would start the intro like you do in 2:15, slowly add instruments each verse, and really kick it in the turnaround(2:15) and bring in the subs and the iron(more synths, pads, etc...) Oh yeah, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT HISSING SOUND !!! Sounds like a guy ready to spit out a big tabaco blob or choking !!! Please take that out man ! I like the narration, this thing has this dark lunacy and paranoia which I enjoyed (without the string thing and hiss, ahhrrg) I wanted to hear the narration better, it's a little buried in the mix now. Not my bag of tea, but I respect the soundscape you are creating and the recording is pro standards !! Good work, some minor fine tuning should really make this shine....
Thank you for your reply.
I really appreciate your comments.
Everything is orchestral samples, drumcomp(505)-snare&kick and elec.bass
The 'spitting' is what you get when someone hits a cymbal ever louder (from the center going to the edge) with a padded stick (sorry, don't know the proper word for it); another orchestral sample. Most of the time it gets gated 'by the hihats', once in a while I let it come through from start to finish
'Not my bag of tea'
Nevertheless, you've got some interesting observations, thank you.
It forces me to rethink about (my) style and how I translate an idea in a finished song.
I like that, it keeps me awake.
And maybe it would be too soon to start a 'drop Stephen a line of support'-thread, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate what you are doing. I don't think it's easy to comments on every kind of music finding it's way to our forum.
So thanks again Stephen ;)
So feel free to shoot.
My grateful thanks for the kind words GentleG, just knowing my suggestions are well taken, means a lot to me ! I do enjoy all your submissions, always something new to listen to ! I try to give a positive reply when I can, but also trying to be objective and if I don't suggest changes or mention things I didn't like, you wouldn't get an idea of what works and what doesn't. Your music is great and I hope you keep 'EM coming G.... :c:And maybe it would be too soon to start a 'drop Stephen a line of support'-thread, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate what you are doing. I don't think it's easy to comments on every kind of music finding it's way to our forum.
Anyone else some suggestions?
I'm still stuck.
Well, it's not my cup of tea either. However, I think I know what you were after. The strings all the way through is what the song is based on and I think you need to find another way to speak that voice. You might want to listen to The Crystal Method...Another World. Im not sure if that's the exact name but you will can easily figure that out. The rest of it was fine to me. I was happy with the vocals, bass drums, the little extras you did throw in for variety, etc. and even though it's not my cup of tea, I can get into the vibe of it.
If I had my druthers, I would probably put chords using an electronica sound in place of the strings, and use more than a couple of chords. I would also have some real buildup into all out kick butt, then go back down. As I say listen to Crystal Method. This piece has a similar thing about it and if this is something you want to pursue then listening to CM would help you a lot I think.
HTH, just MHO you know.