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I need pro thoughts on multi-effects processors

It seems like every manufacturer has jumped onto the bandwagon with these. I've tried a few, but can't reach a conclusion on which to buy for fear that it will kill my recordings. I might play out with it once in a blue moon, too. I just want to be sure it's as clean and quiet as possible.

Counteract the Proximty Effect

I have song song where there are 6 people on the track. 5 of them are on a MXL 2001 + a ART Tube OPL preamp with a very close promimity(prox 3 inches. The last vocal is using a MXL 2001 + a Studio Projects VTB1 preamp (prox 6 inches. The new vocal sounds way cleaner. What would be the best way to make the old vocals or new vocal sound like they match?

DM2000 Help with effects

I jsut got a DM-2000. The board sounds great. I know this sounds retarted but I can't hear the built in effects. I read the manual a hundred times. the manual sucks anyway. If you have a dm2000 can you please help. I am turning up the all 1-8 send on a channel and I see level on the meters for the Aux sends but I don't hear it baclk. Where does it return to.

Special Effects - "How did they do that?"

I thought this might be an interesting idea.

What if we did a workshop on a current song that's on the hit list, "Special Effects, Making Songs - How did they do that?". We could do one style a month from Country to Hip Hop. It would be interesting to talk about how and what they did to get that sound, effect, arrangement etc. of each song.