Bogus Tweaks

Discussion in 'Location Recording' started by Cucco, Sep 16, 2006.

  1. Cucco

    Cucco Distinguished Member

    I know there was a topic relating to this in the past, but I just happened across a few more which I thought noteworthy.

    Here's a clock which, though does not hook into any electronics within the room it's housed in, it supposedly sweetens the audio in the room....(but DON'T change the bateries.)

    http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina41.htm

    Then, of course, there's the stones (err, pebbles) which you place throughout the room to magically (using the crystaline pattern of the rocks) makes the modes in your room disappear. I though if the rocks were bolders...then perhaps, but these are an inch or less.

    http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina41.htm

    Oh...and then don't forget the proximity chip, which, when you place any CD near it, it automatically optimizes your entire listening system. :-?

    http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina27.htm

    This site is chock-full-of sh*t like this....I can't believe people actually pay for this!

    Enjoy!
    J
     
  2. zemlin

    zemlin Well-Known Member

    If only I were enough of a prick to think up crap like that . :?

    Good lord!

    I like the customer comment about the "non-magnetic" outlet covers clearing up their video, as well as improving audio in the room. I have a feeling the wife went through the TV room with a bottle of Windex the same day the bozo installed his $30 outlet cover.
     
  3. ghellquist

    ghellquist Member

    Cucco,
    there is one way to look at the stuff that makes it really funny. Not sure this is the intended way, but I tend to smile at it. Assume this guy is a "performance artist" trying to see just where the limit is where the audiophile people will discover him. Looks like he has not reached that point yet. Shows that people love to be scammed.

    Gunnar
     
  4. zemlin

    zemlin Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I s'pose it does bear a certain resemblance to a circus side show.
     
  5. Nirvalica

    Nirvalica Guest

    Probably just because people expect to hear and see better quality that they actually think they see and hear it. If you try it out as a skeptic (who probably wouldn't be dumb enough to actually buy it and try it) then you probably won't notice anything different. Someone should try this with something. Take a gullible friend/relative and tell them if they stick (whatever you choose) in the same room as their stereo, the music will sound better.
     
  6. hueseph

    hueseph Well-Known Member

    Sad to say but I've seen people take this stuff literally. One guy who suggested this special permanent ink marker could improve cd sound when used on the edge of the label side of the cd. The same guy who gave schematics for what essentially was an extremely expensive attenuator. Calling it a preamp and suggesting that it was "the best preamp you will ever hear". Now, this guy was not a total idiot. In fact he composed orchestral music that was quite stunning but where he got this "info" from, I'm not sure.
     
  7. BobRogers

    BobRogers Well-Known Member

    Well, the guy is a UVa AOE grad, so that explains a lot of things.
     
  8. DIGIT

    DIGIT Guest

    LOL! That's a funny site!
     
  9. TeddyBullard

    TeddyBullard Guest

    Magic Knobs

    Mpingo Magic

    Rainbow Foil

    The ultra clarifier

    Tube emulator lacquer

    soundfield optimizer

    cable cooker

    Shakti Stones
     
  10. moonbaby

    moonbaby Mmmmmm Well-Known Member

    You guys laugh, but I bought a pair of The Clever Little Crock, and I was floored by the immediate increase in low frequency power. I mean, even as the UPS truck approached my place to deliver them, I could feel the bass shaking the room!
    I set up each of the Clever Little Crocks next to my twin McIntosh 2105 power amps. These amps were made in the '70s, and are classics. They drive a pair of JBL 4310 monitors from that era, with all of their limitations. All of a sudden, the JBLs just opened up like never before. I could clearly hear Sting's breath whistling through his nose; the spit from Wynton Marsalis' trumpet smacking the mic's windscreen; and Barry Manilow's background singer's foot thumping a mic stand. And when I was watching the Beyonce Live In London DVD late one night (very late!), I could clearly hear one of the dancers breaking wind when she did a high kick! Awesome reality sound the way it should be. I think that it's money well spent! I can't wait for their companion product, The Z4 Oscillator to be released...it has just 1 big knob you turn to tune the sound system to the room...ANY room! I'll never have to use my ears again!
     
  11. IainDearg

    IainDearg Guest

    Brilliant. But it reminds me of the folks who lust after the limitations of old technology; that old skool analog sound ("feel what I'm sayin'?") . Or the signature sound of a particular EQ or compressor which had artifacts then, but has warmth and colour now. They are even programming in the distortion these days. Patented ways to mangle a pristine signal path.

    Hee-hee.
     
  12. RemyRAD

    RemyRAD Well-Known Member

    And one must not forget to take a green magic marker and cover the bottom of all of your CDs with it. It will make them sound so much better!

    Recommendations from 1982
    Ms. Remy Ann David

    And if you believe that one would you believe that we needed to go to war with Iraq??
     
  13. Cucco

    Cucco Distinguished Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Ha...don't you know, they're the ones that blewed us up 5 years ago....they're a nation of "bad-men" and "evil-doers."
     
  14. dementedchord

    dementedchord Well-Known Member

    $ .02

    a personal fav.... while managing an audiophool store... this guy assured me his mcintoshes sounded so much better now that he had moved and was no longer on atomic power (he was on a different grid)...
     
  15. TeddyBullard

    TeddyBullard Guest

    Absolutely. Id go again in a heartbeat. full speed ahead.

    the audiophile stuff, however..... :roll:
     
  16. DIGIT

    DIGIT Guest

    Well, I probably shouldn't tell you this but, if you guys promise NOT to tell anyone...I'll let you in: I am working on a system GUARANTEED and PROVEN to increase freq. response, dyn. range and spatial placement.

    It consists of:

    1) Special diet - yes, you must follow a special diet for 6 weeks to achieve the proper body/mind balance required. This is the first step and perhaps the most important.

    2) meditation - i will supply the 'special' material which will allow you to reach the ideal mental 'level' at which the system will work at its best.

    3) a custom designed seating - this will help with No.2 as well by placing you in the right meditating position.

    4) a series of magnetic bracelets to be worn in *specific* sequence prior to, during AND after mixing sessions.

    5) A specially trained (and groomed) Alpaca (you must have a yard for keeping the animal when not in use in the studio).

    6) A grooming book for above explaining in clear deatail which part of the Alpaca to keep trimmed, by how much, etc... You MUST follow the directions precisely for the effect to work.

    7) a training manual to teach the Alpaca NOT to run if/when loud music is played.

    8) A pair of custom-fitted, Italian-made MIXING SHOES (foot measurement required).

    9) Pouch with SECRET ingredient (to mix with water prior to mixing-FDA approved and totally non-toxic...for the most part)

    10). A custom-fitted, freq. rectifier HAT.


    Also, under development: a system that will make ANY microphones sound like any microphones you have in mind. It will consist of a small chip implanted in your brain but, i can't give any more info on that (PAT. PENDING).


    I will let you know when the first beta testing begins. Any one who would like to sign up please, let me know (again, you MUST have a yard for the Alpaca).



    :lol:
     
  17. aracu

    aracu Active Member

    I have some cool audio jumping beans I can trade you for it.
     
  18. dementedchord

    dementedchord Well-Known Member


    where's GOLLUM when you need him???
     
  19. TeddyBullard

    TeddyBullard Guest

    Ignorance in audio is exceeded only by our collective willingness to embrace and foster it. - Srajan Ebaen
     
  20. DavidSpearritt

    DavidSpearritt Well-Known Member

    I just saw another great quote.

    Gary Zukav
    "Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."
     
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