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audio Feedback Welcome - Optical Illusion (Hard Rock/Metal Song)

Discussion in 'Fix This MIX!' started by Jonathan Linton, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. Jonathan Linton

    Jonathan Linton Active Member

    Working on a new song idea and would appreciate feedback. The vocals and guitars are a very rough take and can be improved.



    JONATHAN LINTON – OPTICAL ILLUSION
    (Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)
    Government is listening, they try to hide it
    They can read your email before you write
    Propaganda machine tries to deny
    I don’t believe them, no, I just don’t buy it

    BRIDGE

    They propagate illusion of a free society
    Fight against terror hides their impropriety

    CHORUS

    Big brother is work of fiction
    There’s no government collusion
    No prying eyes, no cyber spies
    Just an optical illusion

    2ND VERSE PENDING

    BRIDGE

    They propagate illusion of a free society
    Fight against terror hides their impropriety

    CHORUS

    Big brother is work of fiction
    There’s no government collusion
    No prying eyes, no cyber spies
    Just an optical illusion

    SOLO

    CHORUS

    Big brother is work of fiction
    There’s no government collusion
    No prying eyes, no cyber spies
    Just an optical illusion
     
  2. DonnyThompson

    DonnyThompson Distinguished Member

    There's something strange happening on the kick - a clicky, phasey kind of thing... it may just be SC's low MP3 res, but I don' think that's all it is... do you have some kind of stereo effect on the kick? Is the kick stereo?

    Did you use any type of stereo "widening" or "enhancement" on this mix, or on any of the independent tracks, subs/buses/aux's?

    Also, vocals are sibilant, and you've got a painful edge happening at around 3-5k. Truthfully, I can't really listen to this at a level any hotter than around 65 db or so, because that frequency range on the vox just gets too painful at any level louder than that.

    A suggestion:

    Because this isn't really a forum that critiques songs so much in an "artistic" light, ( lyrical content, back story, motivation, message, statement, etc.) and, because we are more oriented towards critiquing mixes; as opposed to taking the time to write out the lyrics - it would have been more helpful, if you had instead taken the time to list details about your recording set-up.
    ( at least your mic and gain chain - which would be preamp(s), i/o, any external processors you are using before your signal hits the DAW ( gain reduction, EQ, etc.)

    Also, any details regarding your Master Bus... do you have any EQ, GR - or any type of processors inserted? And if so, having specifics about each would help us help you further.

    -d.
     
  3. Jonathan Linton

    Jonathan Linton Active Member

    Hi Donny,

    Thanks for the feedback! Here is a revised mix:

     
  4. Jonathan Linton

    Jonathan Linton Active Member

    Improved mix:



    Cymbals and OHs backed off a bit (were a bit harsh)
    Vocals brought up, especially in verse
    JKF speech part lowered a bit
    Better mix of the Toms (was some low end rumble)
    Guitar levels adjusted a little
    Kick brought up

    Feedback welcome!
     
    pcrecord likes this.
  5. pcrecord

    pcrecord Don't you want the best recording like I do ? Well-Known Member

    I find the HF of the cymbals to be agressive and the vocal could be beefed up a bit and/or given some gentle delay or something..
    Other than that ; Good mix !!
     
  6. Jonathan Linton

    Jonathan Linton Active Member



    Improved mix. How is this?
     

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