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If you believe this one...LOL

Discussion in 'Studio Lounge' started by DonnyThompson, Jun 8, 2014.

  1. DonnyThompson

    DonnyThompson Distinguished Member

    If you fall for this one, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you. Check out the description... it's hilarious. This is obviously for the universally rich and the galactically stupid.

    By the way, the typos in the description below are NOT mine. This is a direct copy/paste from the manufacturer's website. So, words like "signicantly", and "ner" (WTF is a "ner"?)
    and "dened" (same as before, wtf?) are all directly from the site.



    "...The LP Energizer improves the audio performance of your vinyl LPs and Singles in as little time as 6 seconds, yet the effect lasts for the total playtime of both sides of the record.

    The audio intelligibility is signicantly increased, rendering greater stereo width, more realistic vocals and ner dynamic details. The difference it makes to audio performances encompasses all audio ranges: midrange is enriched, bass deepened and treble dened. The listener’s audible perception becomes exceptionally precise and three-dimensional. All these enhancements are made possible only through the implementation of IPC’s proprietary Euphoria TechnologyTM.

    My question is, if I sit on this thing for a few minutes, will it help with erectile dysfunction? LOL



  2. dvdhawk

    dvdhawk Well-Known Member

    I assume you lift the faceted crystal lid and find some pharmaceutical product?
    kmetal likes this.
  3. DonnyThompson

    DonnyThompson Distinguished Member

    Actually, I think it comes with a foil hat that you wear so that the magic "euphoria ju-ju" waves doesn't penetrate your brain. But... I could be wrong. That feature may be extra. ;)
    Which shouldn't really be a deterrent... at least not for those that can afford it. After all, if you are going to do something, you might as well do it right, right? LOL

    I'm wondering if they might also throw in set of mahogany - teak wood volume knobs, cut from special pine trees that only grow at certain elevations .... where the Astrobovinic Poultry Monkey lives.
    Apparently, it's the fecies of the Astrobovinic Poultry Monkey that provides the antifluxual - potentiomic viniscular-coagulating bore properties in the grain of the wood that makes all the difference.

    The result is that you don't necessarily get more volume, you just get better volume, because the fecies-encrusted wood (actually it's really the bark) on the knob blocks the transmission of electro-maga-subparticle alpha level vibrations - that negatively effect how you turn the volume knob. I've seen them used before, and have to say, they are awesome.

  4. pcrecord

    pcrecord Don't you want the best recording like I do ? Well-Known Member

    o_O Wtf is this ? It's not a vinyl player. Does it spin your album and heat it so it sound better on your player ? Maybe there's a black hole in it and it sucks the dust out of the record... ;)
  5. Kurt Foster

    Kurt Foster Distinguished Member

    you've done this before, haven't you?
    kmetal likes this.
  6. DonnyThompson

    DonnyThompson Distinguished Member

    LOL...no. But I did work music retail for awhile, and had to deal with a lot of product reps who managed to get "overly creative" in their descriptions about products from time to time. ;)
  7. RemyRAD

    RemyRAD Well-Known Member

    Kurt I like your comment about the feces encrusted wood. Precious.

    Now I know what I've been missing in my recordings. I've been missing some of that " treble dened' ing ". I'm so glad you posted that. This will make all the difference of whatever differences there are to make.

    Obviously this was intended for the English-speaking Chinese audience. Taking all of those Chinese TV shows, over modulated by 300%, into a new listening experience. It probably adds a gob of midrange boost? Followed by some added really awful cheap digital space expander, to generate interesting fake stereo of garbled programming? And what Chinese audio aficionado wouldn't want that?

    I mean I think most of the Chinese television programming I've seen, doesn't look bad. But the audio... I mean sound... well, that is the audible electromagnetic PCM encrusted stuff that comes out of the speakers, must've previously been students, right here in DC, Gallaudet University. It's a university for the deaf!

    I said... it's a school for deaf people! Copy That? Tommy...?

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