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The Challenge Thread

Discussion in 'Recording' started by Halifaxsoundguy, Jul 6, 2008.

  1. Halifaxsoundguy

    Halifaxsoundguy Active Member

    So I thought for the purpose of fun and learning on the topic of mic technique, that we could have a thread that would give everyone to chance to say how they would record and instrument or scenario.

    The idea is that someone makes up a scenario, and you the pro has to make a quick decision on how to mic the scenario or instrument, and which mic you would use and if necessary why. Just easy descriptions, and short answers.

    Maybe we'll all learn some new tricks.

    The rules are:

    1) Only one person can answer the previous post.

    2) And that person must post a new instrument or scenario for the next person to answer.

    Example:

    Person 1:

    Q: The drummer shows up without a front head on the bass drum, how would you mic it?

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Person 2:

    A: I would build a tunnel 4 feet long from the bass drum using small mic stands and a heavy blanket to a Beta52 on the opposite end. I would also have a SM57 beside the beater switched out of phase to capture the attack of the
    beater.

    Q: The vocalist refuses to sing with headphones and wants monitor just like when he plays a show. What do you do?

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Person 3:

    A: Switch the monitor for the vocalist out of phase and a sennheiser.................





    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    So here we go:

    Q: The guitar player wants a big sound but his amp is a tiny practice amp with decent distortion, how do you attempt to give him that big sound?
     
  2. RemyRAD

    RemyRAD Guest

    Answer:

    You utilize a SM57 & balance things properly.

    Next!
    Ms. Remy Ann David

    (The secret answer is you have to know how to engineer to begin with)
     
  3. RemyRAD

    RemyRAD Guest

    Really, I know you don't have much else to do in Nova Scotia than smoke salmon. But really, smoking fish is bad for you.

    I only smoke weeds but would also consider a Swede
    Ms. Remy Ann David
     
  4. Halifaxsoundguy

    Halifaxsoundguy Active Member

    Maybe I drink too much Lobster milk. So much for a new quick guide on here.

    It would be nice to see this thread grow though.
     
  5. rockstardave

    rockstardave Active Member

    A: throw a 57 for close micing, and another mic (condensor of course) somewhere further from the amp to use as a room mic. EQ so that they work together, maybe switch polarity if necessary. blend to taste. reverb/delay to taste as well.

    -------------------------

    next Q: drummer wants his 22" kickdrum to sound a 28" bass drum (billowy, big, ambiguous pitch).
     
  6. Davedog

    Davedog Distinguished Member

    A. Use a hightensile ,thick,and hydraulic head. Tune all the lugs to the same tension at as low a note as it will clearly go. Completely remove one lug. Leave off the front head. Mic with a D112 or a Beta. Do Not place the mic more than 2 inches inside the head. Keep the mic level and in the center of the drum. For some click, high-pass the channel.


    next.



    Q. The lead guitarist continues to insist on using a high-wattage, multi-speaker'd, high-gain amp in the studio because "Its like the sound I want, dude....." Every take with this setup sucks ass at a high failure rate.

    After two hours of wasted time, energy, as well as budget cash, do you....

    a. secretly disable the amp so he will have to at least TRY the one sitting in your studio supply closet...........
    b. Insist he lights up another fattie and further puts the band in a financial hole with his crappola....
    c.Have one of your biker buddies who only likes country music by Merle Haggard knock him out in the parking lot for 'Disrespectfull Behavior'..
    d. Drug him and do his hot girlfriend in the hottub after hes out.
    d. none of the above with explaination.


    Theres really no real answer to this I just thought I'd spice things up a bit.
     
  7. RemyRAD

    RemyRAD Guest

    Davedog the answer is actually "F" for funny. But really, you get a "D" or is that an "E" for accuracy? Eh (Canadian for A)? Or is that "B"?

    Zee Whiz? Wha happened?
    Ms. Remy Ann David
     
  8. bent

    bent No Bad Vibes! Well-Known Member

    A 28 inch kick isn't gonna sound like that, but get him one anyway.

    Call Ben, ask him what it's like to spend 10 years recording a 28 inch kick drum.

    Laugh at Ben for doing so.

    Learn how to replace the drums with the sound the drummer's actually looking for (low and behold, it might be that thunky, woofy sound that the 28 inch drum Ben's been recording makes is the sound he's after).

    Call Ben and ask him for samples of a 28 inch kick drum...

    :lol:
     
  9. MadMax

    MadMax Well-Known Member

    I'll take: d. Drug him and do his hot girlfriend in the hottub after hes out.

    And I'll STILL charge the goober for wasting my time!

    ----------

    Q: The horn section and string section get times crossed up and show at the same time. Who do you record first?

    Bonus; What mic's and patterns??... please show your work
     
  10. Davedog

    Davedog Distinguished Member


    Errr.....who was closer to being there at the right time?

    Will there be video of the joust between the Soprano sax and the violas?


    A. Put em all in one big room and have em play each others charts..........VOILA! Its the 'NEW' Jazz.

    And use a bunch of 57's randomly placed with an 87 in the bathroom for reverb and ambiance.


    (BTW...I AM laughing histerically at Ben.)

    Did I ever tell you the story of the marching bass drum that showed up at a session? With fresh calf heads on it? In the summer? With high humidity? And a egoist ninth power behind it???? Did I?? Can you make your vein in the side of you temple do this?????
     
  11. Greener

    Greener Guest

    After I laughed like a possessed Hyena, I coughed.

    You need a 'no drinks in mouth' warning before that one.
     
  12. bent

    bent No Bad Vibes! Well-Known Member

    Well, Halifaxsoundguy - the thread's definitely growing...
    Probably not exactly the way you'd hoped, but...

    :wink:
     
  13. scooterscot

    scooterscot Active Member

    Well I have a question!
    Your client insists on raising the level of the master because "its not loud enough!" Regardless if it will clip or not. What do you do?
     
  14. Greener

    Greener Guest

    A:

    "Yes sah!"

    *under your breath* "Three bags full."

    Then you push it to the limit, without clipping, explain that you've pushed it to the limit. Turn up your monitors. Big smile.

    Cunstomer is happy, your work is still pro. Win Win.

    Q:

    A Cro-Magnon Viking Wanna Be with a penchant for push-bikes wants to start a fight. What do you do?
     
  15. hackenslash

    hackenslash Active Member

    A. You point him in the direction of a book that proves he can't exist, since Cro-Magnon was extinct long before the Vikings and much longer before the invention of the pushbike.

    Q. You have a client that couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. How do you tell him he isn't going to be the next Luther Vandross?
     
  16. Halifaxsoundguy

    Halifaxsoundguy Active Member

    A: You tell him he's the best and encourage him to do a full album because your studio needs the business due to lost revenue from all the Pro-Tools LE systems in the local community.

    Q: You have a Major rap group in the control room with their posse. The lead rapper finds out that his bass player has been sleeping with his girlfriend, a fight breaks out, what do you do?
     
  17. Slice

    Slice Guest

    A: give a pen and paper to the lead rapper
    with some luck he'll spawn the best rap song ever about his girlfriend sleeping with his bass player

    Q: You're practicing before your scheduled band arrives and they hear you, they want you to play a solo or two on the album, without writing your name as the solo player in the booklet, what do you do, knowing they'll never be able to play a solo correctly?
     
  18. Cucco

    Cucco Distinguished Member

    MM -
    This is a trick question.

    If it's a jazz/rock/country session, the strings were on time (exactly) and the brass players were an hour late and stoned.

    Toss them in a room with an extra bag of grass and tell them that Miles Davis didn't actually play jazz but a new genre of American Music and allow them to debate for 2 hours while you go and record the strings.


    IF this is a classical session, your brass players arrived an hour early so they could warm up and your strings showed up just in time to sit down, tighten their bows and hit and out of tune A. In this case, reward your brass - record them first. Sit your string players in a room with 3 tuning forks tuned to 438, 440 and 442 and allow them to fight over which player has the correct A. Now, sample all the strings because they'll all have killed eachother.

    Dave -
    The answer to your question is D. However, you'll need to make sure your studio is equipped with Penicillin.


    Slice -
    The answer to your question is simple. Show them your rate card for studio-musician without royalties. That will shut them up very quickly.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A few questions:

    1 - Your rapper client's girlfriend insists on showing up to support her "Boo" while in session. She sits in the control room with you. She won't peel the damn cell phone off of her bling-clad ear. What do you do?


    2 - Your client books the studio from 2-4 and you have another session at 4:30. The first client shows up at 3:30 and still wants to lay down some tracks but insists on using their own drums and amps. When you tell them no, but ask them to pay for your time anyway, they leave. What do you do?

    3 - A 13 year old punk-a$$ twerp calls you and wants to "lay down some tracks, yo!" He wants to know if you have Nooman mic's and the newest version of ProTools LE. What do you tell him?

    4 - Your intern blurts out something about the drummer's girlfriend while the talkback is open. What do you do?

    5 - (Final question - worth extra):
    There's a fire in your studio and you only have the chance to grab 1 thing out of your studio -
    1 - Your girlfriend (who's unconscious)
    2 - Your prized microphones
    3 - Your prized outboard gear
    4 - The big bag of lebanese blonde
    5 - Your dog
    6 - You're the captain - go down with the ship.

    Choose carefully.
     
  19. Greener

    Greener Guest

    1-4.
    Shoot. Dig. Lime. Fill.

    5.

    Stuff the hooch under the dogs collar, pooch will follow.
    Grab your girl and run.
    Call the insurance company whilst you and the missus blaze up to calm down.
     
  20. Greener

    Greener Guest

    Though chances are the girlfriend is the one who started the fire by dropping a scoob after greening out.

    This only means you aint going to share the bag afterwards...
     

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