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Barely Alive - Grunge Song

Discussion in 'Mixing & Song Critique' started by Jonathan Linton, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. Jonathan Linton

    Jonathan Linton Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2015
    Location:
    Germany
    Hi all,

    Wrote and recorded this 90's grunge vibe song over a weekend. Feedback most welcome:



    BARELY ALIVE
    (Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

    I’m a machine
    Help everyone
    I’ve always been
    The unfortunate son
    So leave me behind
    With my despair
    I have resigned
    To go nowhere

    Body is strong
    But the mind is gone
    Hope deprived
    I’m barely alive
    Each time
    I find
    A lifeline
    It’s deprived
    Yeah, I’m barely alive

    I’ve been accused
    I’ve been abused
    They even hide
    When they’re amused
    Preyed upon
    Future foregone
    Ambition gone
    But doomed to live on

    Body is strong
    But the mind is gone
    Hope deprived
    I’m barely alive
    Each time
    I find
    A lifeline
    It’s deprived
    Yeah, I’m barely alive

    SOLO

    Body is strong
    But the mind is gone
    Hope deprived
    I’m barely alive
    Each time
    I find
    A lifeline
    It’s deprived
    Yeah, I’m barely alive
    I’m barely alive
    I’m barely alive
    Barely alive
    Barely alive
     
  2. kmetal

    kmetal Kyle P. Gushue Distinguished Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2009
    Location:
    Boston, Massachusetts
    Home Page:
    Good tune. Gtrs might be a bit loud, in line with a 90s mix where gtrs were in front of the snare. I like the cavernous drums. I hear a lot of competition in tge 3-6k range between gtrs, vocals, and snare. Could just be this phone, but it seems like a little bit of clearing in that area may be less abrasive but still rock.
     
  3. Jonathan Linton

    Jonathan Linton Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2015
    Location:
    Germany
    Hey Kyle,

    Thanks for the compliments and feedback. There is some wisdom in your critique. In the meantime, I made a remix because some of the mix balance was off to me and also based on some other critique as well. Here it is - I hope this addresses your critique:

     
  4. kmetal

    kmetal Kyle P. Gushue Distinguished Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2009
    Location:
    Boston, Massachusetts
    Home Page:
    Well done, sounds good over here.
     

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