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New findings on Mozart Effect

Profile picture for user pmolsonmus
Submitted by pmolsonmus on

I've seen something like this before, but not quite this good...





New Findings on Mozart Effect



A recent report now says that the Mozart effect

is yet another charming urban legend. The bad

news for hip urban professionals: playing Mozart

for your designer baby will not improve his IQ or

help him get into that exclusive pre-school. He

will just have to get admitted to Harvard some

other way.



Of course, we're all better off listening to Mozart

purely for the pleasure of it. However, one must

wonder whether, if playing Mozart sonatas for

little Tiffany or Jason really could boost his or

her intelligence, what would happen if other

composers were played during the kiddies'

developmental time?







LISZT EFFECT:

Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but

never really says anything important.



BRUCKNER EFFECT:

Child speaks v-e-r-y slowly and repeats himself

frequently and at length. Gains reputation for

profundity.



WAGNER EFFECT:

Child becomes a egocentric megalomaniac.

May eventually marry his sister.



MAHLER EFFECT:

Child continually screams -at great length and volume -

that he's dying.



SCHOENBERG EFFECT:

Child never repeats a word until he's used all

the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes

talks backwards. Eventually, people stop listening to him.

Child blames them for their inability to understand him.



IVES EFFECT:

The child develops a remarkable ability to

carry on several separate conversations at once,

in various dialects.



GLASS EFFECT:

The child tends to repeat himself over and over

and over and over and over and over and over

and over and over and over and over and over

and over again.



STRAVINSKY EFFECT:

The child is prone to savage, guttural

and profane outbursts that often lead to

fighting and pandemonium in the preschool.



BRAHMS EFFECT:

The child is able to speak beautifully as long as

his sentences contain a multiple of three words

(3, 6, 9, 12, etc).

However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words

are strangely uninspired.



CAGE EFFECT:

Child says nothing for 4 minutes, 33 seconds -

exactly.



A recent study has determined that

the CAGE EFFECT is preferred by

10 out of 10 classroom teachers.

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Comments

Profile picture for user MadTiger3000
MadTiger3000

I won't go into gory details, but it is sort of like things being too highly correlated to scientifically test for them. (I worded that clumsily, I know!)



In this case, the people who have Mozart at home, and have a mom who doesn't mind listening to a bunch of Mozart, are MORE THAN LIKELY people who are college-educated, smarter-than-average individuals themselves. There are simply too many other things working here.

Mon, 01/19/2009 - 12:13 Permalink
Profile picture for user Space
Space

What kind of effect would be the result of Listz and Glass?



The small child would produce a seething propensity to wander, sometimes, leaving only the things they knew and cared for mostly in the climate of the day. I said will little ones generate fervent preference towards the unknown, often, within egress for the items recalled and revered for in the heat of time. Let me rephrase....

Mon, 01/19/2009 - 21:38 Permalink
RemyRad
RemyRAD

Unfortunately I know firsthand about the Mozart effect.



My father was a concertmaster/violinist for numerous major symphony orchestras.



Mom was a former Metropolitan Opera star. Her hero? Mozart! Always Mozart morning, noon & night. In utero. And what happens to me? I end up recording Mozart.



Now, I think I'll drink myself to death?

Ms. Remy Ann David

Mon, 01/19/2009 - 23:25 Permalink
anonymous
anonymous

Technically you recorded classical musicians, now don't get me wrong. A lot of classical musicians are extremely talented and beyond capable... But NONE of them were Mozart. The man was a God.

Yeah, don't get me started.



Don't drink yourself to death either, cirrhosis of the liver blows chunks, and if you die, who will whip all these little fuckers into line?



Also, it doesn't make a lick of difference what you listen too in terms of mind development. I have experimented in cognitive abilities when subjected to broad influences as apposed to using my brain.



Sitting around listening to music is nothing compared to sitting around playing it.



Use the imagination to create real things, not just to appreciate things.

Letting music influence you and take you on a new tangent with what you create is beneficial but just hearing it then not _using_ it does nothing to develop the mind.

Tue, 01/20/2009 - 03:44 Permalink
Profile picture for user pmolsonmus
pmolsonmus

The original Mozart effect was a test of college students who listended to Mozart before taking an exam who scored somewhat better than their counterparts(counterpoints???) on spatial tests - not IQ. Those results have been duplicated by a number of studies. It was determined that the brain really likes the short clear phrases found in Classical Period Music (Haydn, Mozart) and the further music varied from that time period, the less effective the results - too much emotion, too slow tempo, in a word- Mahler-like. But the thought that it makes people smarter is not a widely held belief.



It has since morphed into the baby Mozart b.s. that has "market research" written all over it. There are however, real studies that have also been duplicated that show a direct link between music study( playing an instrument) and academic achievement.







http://www.instituteofartsandletters.org/Music%20Advocacy%20Facts%20and%20Statistics%20MENC.pdf



We can go back to talking about how old Remy and Bob really are now.. . I think they may have actually recorded Classical Period musicians!!! Check the vaults...

Tue, 01/20/2009 - 10:11 Permalink