I wish I had a few stories that made me laugh, but most of them make me cry :(

So I will write a book and send you via Fedex!!!
hehehe

Man, there is a very ridiculous story that happened with a friend of mine, who also owns a studio.

Everything was ready to record and a samba singer. The guy asked him: shall I take the T-shirt?

My friend: Yes, oka.

he went to the other room to take a SVHS tape for his adat and when he comes back. The guy was locked inside the vocal booth completly nude!!!!!!

This isn't a mastering story but here goes anyway. I had some clients that couldn't sing. Every time it was time to do vocals it was usually a whole evening of doing punch ins. Rewinding and working the same phrase over and over until they made a mistake that sounded good. After doing this for several sessions, I began to whine and snivel to the band telling them how this kind of work was really boring, that I didn't like doing it and it didn't really sound any better after a whole nights work than if he just sang it a couple of times and let me do some comps and fix's ( I hate working harder than I have to). I have always been a big fan of the "record it and if it sucks, we'll do it again tomorrow" approach. The band asked if they could use a different "producer / engineer" to do the vocal sessions to relieve me of the chore I didn't want to do. I told them that was fine with me. They brought in a friend who had some recording experience on a cassette 4 track in his basement. They arrived and I decided to hang around for a while to make sure this guy had a handle on the console. He came in to the control room, rolled tape and began to solo each track by itself and twisting away madly at the e.q's. This went on for a half an hour, with this guy jumping up a down in the control room , literally hopping around like he's "Mr. Session Energy"! He finally finished and he stood back, looking so proud of himself and stated "There! Now that sounds much better!" That's when I told him to get the f#*k away from my equipment. He had made adjustments on the e.q.'s but not one of them had been engaged! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ….I wish I had some of what he was on. The band got all pissed off and took their tapes and left, telling me I was unprofessional…. Good riddance!…Losers! Learn to sing……Fats

There was a friend of mine, a famous mastering engineer in the 1970's, who had a big knob at the top of his rack of outboard gear that was for "client adjustments". He sometimes had the client turn the knob until the desired sound had been established. Clients were happy.

He was happy too because the knob was not hooked up to anything. The sessions went smoothly.

This one is sad and funny..

In 2000 some politicians from group A were here recording and co-producing their jingles.

Group B was mad because they just could not understand why Group A had much better sound quality on the radio and on TV...

Then a guy from Group B discovered my "secret" studio.

Their chied come to my place and say: We wnat our products 3dB louder than the opponent..

I said: Oka, I shall squeeze the hell of it so..

I also sing and play for most of my jobs so some jingles I wasalready on the radio..

Then the men comes on another day with lyrics and with a SMF of a famous gospel artist..

Alécio, I wasnt you to sing this with this arrangement...

When I saw the lyrics I just could not believe:
"VOTE AT OUR CANDIDATE BECAUSE HE HAS A FAMILY, HE WILL NOT ASHME OUR CITY"

In fact they were kind of accusing their oponent for being GAY.

I told them: hey man, where is your ethics? what does his sexual preferences have to do with political competence?
Never, I will not sing this shit, besides you are using copyrighted material. So, it will be 2 sins..

Then the guy picked a nother guy to sing that...

2 months later... the "gay" candidate won the ellection for the second time..