The guitar definitely has a David Gilmour vibe to it. Nice lead tone in the top of the song.

Drums are very thin. Kick is barely there. Snare is "papery" and lacking low-mids and "smack". Overall, the drums are lacking punch, body and weight. Plenty of top end, you just need to fill in the rest of the frequencies.

Bass guitar is hot in the mix, .... but I don't think it would be if the drums were beefier. Tonally it's okay.

Vocals are "harsh"... lacking some clarity, and are too hot in the "pain range" ( 3-5 k), it needs warmth and definition.

Did you use gain reduction on the vocal track(s) and what were your settings?

What mic and pre are you using for vocals, how far off the mic were you, and what space are you in when you record them?

Did you have a commercially released reference track to listen and compare to while you were mixing?

Finally - did you mix this through monitors or through headphones?

Good song, seems like the musicians made a good job

But, It sounds like the drums were recorded with just 2 overheads. Not a big deal, but they are aimed at the cymbal which put them too loud for the rest of the kit.
Altogether, the mix sounds thin and everything tries to occupy the same space.
Could it be that it was mixed at very loud levels ?