Does anyone know the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?.
A large pizza can feed a family of four. Har dee har har.
[ May 26, 2003, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Kurt Foster ]
Comments
Originally posted by Kevin Mixson: I love when they feel they
Originally posted by Kevin Mixson:
I love when they feel they need to kick the kick while we're placing the mic in it. Or better yet, cRaCk the snare right in our ear as if we think that's cool or are gonna say 'wow man, good snare sound' haha... 'I needed to hear it that close and LOUD'.
The next time that happens, freeze for a couple of seconds, then take off your shirt and jump around while shouting "WHEEEE" deliriously. Sure fire way to prevent something you don't like from ever happening again.
Believe me, it worked for me.
Originally posted by; Steve@speedRiverStudios Drummers are qu
Originally posted by; Steve@speedRiverStudios
Drummers are quite useful.You can always tell when the stage is level because he drools out of Both sides of his mouth.
Did you hear about the guitar player that locked his keys in the band van? It took four hours to get the drummer out! :D :D :D Bada-Bump!
What's the difference between a recording engineer and a mutual
What's the difference between a recording engineer and a mutual fund?
The mutual fund eventually matures and earns money.
If you throw a producer and engineer off a tall building, who'll hit the ground first?
Who cares?
What do you have when a group of engineers are up to their necks in wet concrete?
Not enough concrete
BA-BOOM -- BUMP - PEEESH!
Originally posted by Steve@speedRiverStudios: What's the diffe
Originally posted by Steve@speedRiverStudios:
What's the difference between a polka drummer, and a skunk on the side of the road?The skunk was probably on his way to a gig!(nyuk nyuk nyuk snorrrf :s: )
I thought it was there were skid marks in front of the skunk!
How many producer/engineers does it take to mix a record?
Ten. One to do it and nine to stand around muttering "I could have done it better."
Drummer says . . . Don't be afraid to bring the drums forward in
Drummer says . . . Don't be afraid to bring the drums forward in the mix, nobody listens to the words anyway!
Drummer Dude. . . The bass and the drums are the BACK bone of the band. Gee man I though it was as solo instrument. Fader man. . . can you turn those vocals down I can't hear my new china cymbal
Originally posted by Don Schenk: D-R-U-M... Doesn't Really
Originally posted by Don Schenk:
D-R-U-M...Doesn't Really Understand Music
Ok - OK - i have been avoiding this thread like the plague.... but now i have to jump in (see - my mouth is wide open - plenty of room for my feet)
Drummers of the world rise up and unite...... lol
what i love most about my band mates is that they realize the value of a drummer....
hell you got someone on the boat who you can use for chum if the sharks come.
Some one you can throw at the drunk in the bar to give you enough time to make an escape - (that'll teach him to let you kiss another man's wife)
Seriously - some of us are pro's -
I have never even touched my drums (or sat behind them for that matter) while mics were being set - never touched one until the tech asked - and then only what he asked for -
I spent years learning to play guitar - bass - piano and studing music theory and composition - just so i could better understand my bandmates - write better songs - know how to structure my instrument with theirs
I am presently studying pedal steel and violin so we can expand our music to new levels -
all of that - and to think i could have just stood behind the skunk and been saved by the virtue of his skid marks......
Seriously - i hope you all take this as tongue in cheek - i laugh more every time i visit this thread.......
Besides - we have more polished jokes about you than you could ever imagine....... we meet every tuesday evening for drinks - and share the new ones........ join us somme time - it's a riot.....
Happy hunting
Rod
Originally posted by Don Schenk: D-R-U-M... Doesn't Really
Originally posted by Don Schenk:
D-R-U-M...Doesn't Really Understand Music
Actually Don, you're talking about an inanimate object there buddy....... although i believe it was George Lennon - in reference to Ringo Starr who said the famous line which we all remember:
"D_R_U_M_M_E_R
Doesn't Really Understand Music Much Eleanor Rigby"
Sheesh....... if you're gonna use a quote the least you could do is get it right.
LOL....... :D
Rod the left handed drummer.......
Well...what's the last words of the drummer in a band? "-Hey, g
Well...what's the last words of the drummer in a band?
"-Hey, guys... why not try one of my songs?"
:)
Why are drum-machines better than drummers?
- They will keep a steady beat and they won't f*ck your girlfriend.
Or as they say in the movie "Still Crazy":
"If it's true what say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars... then drummer must come from Pluto"
Originally posted by Tore member of Park: Well...what's the la
Originally posted by Tore member of Park:
Well...what's the last words of the drummer in a band?
"-Hey, guys... why not try one of my songs?"
:)
Interesting concept, i said those very words myself, i guess that's why 5 of the songs on the CD we're producing right now were written and composed by moi....... thanks for the advice -
lol
Happy Hunting
Rod
Interesting....don't quit your day or night jobs. You guita
Interesting....don't quit your day or night jobs.
You guitarists and singers should at least come up with some new drummer jokes, but as every drummer understands, you probably just can't "find the time!"
I play with a lot of West Africans. When they see a foule (flute) player coming they say "Here comes a flute player", when the see a Kora (harp/lute) player coming they'll say "here comes a Kora player." When they see drummers coming they'll say: "Ah, here come the musicians."
Kurt, you should be ashamed of yourself, a bass player ragging on drummers. You should hear what they say about you C cleft readers when you're not around.
Ah, you're all just jealous, or POed because we've screwed your girlfriends.
Oh yeah...John! I knew him, he gave up the drums and became an A
Oh yeah...John! I knew him, he gave up the drums and became an A&R guy.
I hear he's doing well, produces some little blonde teenage singer....forget her name, hell I can't tell the lttle "Lolitas" apart anyway.
So what do you call a rock band rehearsal during a blackout?
Drum solo. :p
Cover your ears right now or prepare to suffer a most terrible f
Cover your ears right now or prepare to suffer a most terrible fate!
There was this National Geographic reporter who was doing a documentary on this African natives tribe. After a few months of planning, he flies to Dark Africa and treks his way to their village.
Upon arrival, he seeks out the tribe chieftain. There are ominous sounding drums playing in the background.
"I would like to live among your people and learn your ways", he tells the chieftain. The chieftain looks him over, then replies "OK. You live here. We teach you."
The reporter proceeds to learn from them - sleeping in a hut, hunting, foraging - slowly, little by little, he learns their ways. Every day, he notes down what happens in a little journal. After three days, he realizes that he's been hearing the ominous sounding drums non-stop, day and night. So he seeks out the village chieftain again.
"What are those drum sounds?" he asks the chieftain.
"Oh. Those are good drums. Good good drums. If continue, good omen for village. If stop, BIIIIIG BOMBAD news for village!"
Disturbed, the reporter goes back to his farming duties.
A week passes, and the reporter is well on his way to finishing up his documentary. All of a sudden, the drums abruptly stop.
The reporter jumps out of his canoe in alarm and sees the whole village burst into panic as people run out of their huts screaming. In a fit of terror, he manages to grab ahold of one villager and shouts in his face.
"THE DRUMS HAVE STOPPED! WHAT HAPPENS NOW?"
The villager replies:
"BASS SOLO!"
...
Thank you for listening.
So this drummer is in a music store and he gets approached by a
So this drummer is in a music store and he gets approached by a guy that says, "wanna come out to a jam? Every night is different it's all improv!". The drummer, intrigued by this says, "Okay, I'll show up saturday at 1:00 or 1:30". Saturday comes by, the drummer sets up his kit left handed, and plays the most phenomenal jazz drums any of them had ever heard. The next week was metal week so they invited him along to see what he could do. "1:00 or 1:30", says the drummer, "see you next week".
He shows up for metal week, sets up his kit RIGHT handed and astounds everyone again with his amazing metal chops.
Again, he gets an invite to jam, and accepts under the usual 1:00 or 1:30 rule.
The following week was an easy day of country-western. The drummer shows up at 1:30 and starts to play the most gawd awful out of tune garbage you could ever imagine. Everyone waited out the jam to hope he would cure his slump. It didn't happen.
After the jamm, his friend from the music store asked, "I don't understand it...left handed jazz.....RIGHT handed metal....Amazing, and now this? What's going on.
"Well, it's like this" says the drummer. "If I wake up in the morning with the girlfriend on the left, I play lefty. If I wake up with her on the right, I play righty. If I wake up and she's on her back, I come in at 1:30."
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Non
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand!!!!!!!
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the lead guitar player has to show him how to do it first!!!!!!!!
These jokes have been provided by your friend, neighborhood drummer (a.k.a. percussion) framos.
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Non
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand!!!!!!!
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the lead guitar player has to show him how to do it first!!!!!!!!
GEEZE..... :roll:
Ok guys...I am a guitarist but.... How many electric guitaris
Ok guys...I am a guitarist but....
How many electric guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to screw it in and nine to discuss how Hendrix would have done it.
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to screw it in and nine to bitch that its electric.
Ill apologize now....and move on....
crumb
I love when they feel they need to kick the kick while we're pla
I love when they feel they need to kick the kick while we're placing the mic in it. Or better yet, cRaCk the snare right in our ear as if we think that's cool or are gonna say 'wow man, good snare sound' haha... 'I needed to hear it that close and LOUD'. You got to love drum techs, they know how it's done, thank Heavens.
Cheers,
Kevin