Also, I've thought about running it through an aux and automating that. But there are no routing options on the standard metronome other than 1-2 and 3-4. (yes, I only have 4 outs, sue me)

Is there a volume envelope? Otherwise, RTM.

No volume envelope, well there is on klopfgiehst. I still havent managed to get that thing to run properly. My only solution now is to take an output to an input, record the metronome, and automate that as a regular track.

Klopfgeist by default is software instrument #256.

Go to the mixer page, select the all button. right click on klopfgeist, and select create/select arrange track.

It will appear on the arrange page, then you can automate like any other track.

Son of a gun! Uggg... you know what's depressing? I actually knew this. But I'd just been loading new tracks and putting klopfgeist on their I/Os. So it all makes sense now, gotta unhide the already created click track. Thanks a lot gdoubleyou. I appreciate it!