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Gfunny72 4 January 2017

[MEDIA=soundcloud]gfunny72/night-dmgsmooth-70s-rel48-431-supp-clair-diffuse0-final[/MEDIA]
I wrote, recorded, mixed and mastered this. Looking for any kind of feedback on any aspect of this. Thanks!

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DogsoverLava Thu, 01/05/2017 - 13:30

It evokes a lot of Don't Fear The Reaper (not just the cowbell) - then it's got this cool Cars tonality and reference @ 1:04 before going back into the Reaper modality (before repeating) ---- The guitar tone@2:40 is equal parts David Gilmore and a little Mark Knopfler... but the lines are more Knopfleresque - those quick little blasts of notes... very cool as well.

My production/Mix critique is tied in with my general critique of the song. As it's mixed now, that guitar figure that serves as the melody sounds too much like a background part and not the theme that it is - so after 4 or 5 repeats it gets old fast --- so either develop that theme more with additional parts or leave it as is and boost it up in the mix un-apologetically (you might consider re-tracking it and playing it with more intent as the melody it is if the dynamics are not in the take). I think though that bringing it forward in the mix would be a great start though.

Similarly - I'd like to hear the guitar lead breaks function more as breaks - perhaps bumped as well - or perhaps retooled or re-conceived with a little more ferocity or aggression in the playing. There are a few strong lines then a few weak lines -- I like to hear them presented stronger as well. There's a lack of accents in the playing (which I read more as a hesitation to commit to them as a player). In and around the 1:30-2:04 and the 3:00 mark (coming out of the solo that starts around 2:45) you could have really played up the call and response element with the main theme calling to the lead, then the lead responding -- but again the lack of accents here - the lack of commitment to the interplay --- makes this section only a shadow of what it could be. Make me hear these two parts speak to each other. I guess I want more dynamics in the theme and the leads overall. Think Stevie Ray and how he delivered similar lines on David Bowie's Let's Dance album -- he had these short phrase stinging leads that just popped out with all kinds of intention.

I don't think those choral/vocal patches work at all -- they sound arbitrary. But I see their inclusion more as a reflection of how you wrote and recorded this. (see below)

All in all -- some cool stuff here - but to my ear as a musician I can sort of hear how was put together and recorded a piece at a time without a clear idea as to what each part's role was. I think the net result is a song that's missing its anchor - or reason d'etre. You might find it in mix tweaks by bringing out those thematic lines more, or in retooling a few parts here and there. I listened about 4 times and went back over sections a few times as well. Right now is a multi-textured pastiche looking for life as it's own thing.

As always - this is just my opinion (and how I hear it after a few listens today). Thanks for sharing.

pcrecord Thu, 01/05/2017 - 13:59

First, it starts with noises.
The drum sound like cardboard and/or like a cheap beatbox or loops with no fills nor feeling and the tempo change adds no value to me except breaking the mood..
The first electric guitar to play at the beginning seems to have been plugged direct after the distortion pedal without an amp.. makes it razor sounding.. but it could be an effect.. so no harm there. (would sound more natural with an amp simulator or a real amp

All the percs makes the song less rock than I would expect.

The vocal sounding keyboard is mixed too loud and kills the entry of a great solo.. that solo guitar track is the best sounding track of the song.. !

It has a good potential specially if you add vocals, Thanks for sharing !

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