Hi all,
Working on a new rock song idea - partial vocals - 2nd verse and potentially some additional fills pending. Not sure if it is worth working on further or if it is "nothing special" - feedback welcome:
[MEDIA=soundcloud]jonathan-linton-3/face-up-rev1[/MEDIA]
FACE UP
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)
You’re at war, within yourself
Put your pride upon the shelf
We need to fail, and fail to need
That self-doubt to proceed
Yes it hurts, yes its dirt
Soiling your will to reassert
Lift your head up to the sky
Give it another try
So you failed
You’re better man
Don’t hide in shame
Just face up to it
Face it down
You’ll rise again
Never know if you don’t face up to it
VERSE 2 PENDING
So you failed
You’re better man
Don’t hide in shame
Just face up to it
Face it down
You’ll rise again
Never know if you don’t face up to it
BREAK/SOLO
So you failed
You’re better man
Don’t hide in shame
Just face up to it
Face it down
You’ll rise again
Never know if you don’t face up to it
Comments
this is a good tune, a nice 4th song on an album, or opener to t
this is a good tune, a nice 4th song on an album, or opener to the second side of an album. something that changes the tempo from ultra hooky songs. not that this isnt catchy, rather just a break from intro/verse/chorus/chorus/chorus/outro.
things i would experiment with, is dropping out the rhythm guitar on the second verse, or adding some guitars that 'cut' in then settle back, supporting the melody. good punk rock songs take advantage of this stuff, as they're often the same chord progression, or two, throughout the song. my money is on let the bass guitar carry the 2nd verse, or at least first half of it. that way the song maintains drive, without any monotony.
id also consider beating the daylights out of the hook/line 'your at war with yourself'. via repetition, harmony, special effect, or maybe all of that. maybe double the melody with a single note guitar line. i cant help but want to hear that line more than it appears in the song.
overall the mix sounds good form my perspective and the echo on the vocals is just the right amount. they're might be a tad too much energy in the upper mids on the guitars, but that could just be my preferences or $10 computer speakers creeping in.
nice work.