*buries head in hands* buy a pair of XLR microphone cables, short stands, stick a mic on the amp, presto

A demo of CEP? Heh.
I've seen that, really nice software.

Live lite, probably is. Even Audacity (God forbid) or Kristal (God forbid it more) would do the trick for the most part.
(Kristal has NO volume envelopes, I mean what gives)

If there's a Hi-Z or High Impedance or DI in on the pre, you can definitely plug it in. If it's an XLR and you adapt it, I do that with a few things at our Church and get no problems. You might lose some quality though.

Yes you need 2 cables going from XLR to whatever the pre has, I assume XLR. You'll probs need stands too...

If there's a Hi-Z or High Impedance or DI in on the pre, you can definitely plug it in.

Now in english please. The preamp has two inputs where you can plug in the cord from the guitar that would normally go into the amp. Could I do that and would it be a better sound?

How much does an XLR connector cost and where can I find one?

I'm assuming you're just talking about stands to make sure the mics don't move from the amp or while the person is singing?

Correct about the stands.

The Hi-z are what you would just plug the guitar cord into. But to mic the amp you want XLR cords, go to guitar center and ask for two twenty foot mic cables, should be under twenty dollars

Yeah, it will get you a better signal putting the guitar in directly.

Hi-Z is high impedance and that's what guitars have, high electrical resistance.
Search here for "Impedance Matching" and you'll find more info if you want it.

I was thinking vocal recording was gonna be done (as well as amps) so you'd need a tall stand (don't hold the mic).
You can get a short stand, or you could be absolutely wild and try this: [[url=http://[/URL]="http://recording.or…"]SM57 + Condom[/]="http://recording.or…"]SM57 + Condom[/] (not recommended though).

I think I got most of it now, the only big question I have now is about getting Live Lite or maybe Audacity to work. Should just reading the tutorials that come with it be enough to get basic recording down?

Should be a case of:
(general instructions for most software)
-Arm the track for record
-Press record on the transport bar (near play/pause)
-Perform.

Audacity, just set the input to be the MobilePre and press record. It'll bring it into a new track.