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A Quick Note from Donny

Hi Gang.

Three nights ago, my mom was rushed to the hospital by ambulance, due to what we now know is kidney failure. On top of that, she's developed a severe abdominal hernia, and, she's been battling Alzheimer's for over 5 years now...her level of dementia is "extreme". There are momentary lucid moments, where she knows my name, my sister's name, and who we are... but they are fleeting, and most of the time, she just kinda looks "through" me, as if I wasn't even there.

I just wanted my pals here to know that my presence here on RO may be a bit sparse while all this is going on for the next week or so, maybe even two. My sister and I are taking shifts at the hospital, alternating visits, sitting with her, etc., and the hospital she is at has a terrible wi-fi signal... or at least it does in my mom's room.
My sister Diana and I are facing some very difficult decisions to make, in the very near future.

I just didn't want anyone thinking that I'd "disappeared" from RO, because I haven't.
It's just that my days ( and thought process) are otherwise occupied right now :)

I wish all my friends here, and all the members of RO, a great New Year's! - if you happen to be gigging tonight, take it easy out there, as it's traditionally the night when drunks are at their worst, and deciding that drinking heavily and then getting behind the wheel of a car is perfectly fine. So... Be safe, OK? :)

I'll pop back in when I can; as soon as the smoke clears a bit.
Have a great New Year's Everyone.

;)
donny

Comments

audiokid Sun, 12/31/2017 - 12:16

DonnyThompson, post: 454851, member: 46114 wrote: My sister Diana and I are facing some very difficult decisions to make, in the very near future.

So sorry you are experiencing this right now or at all. Big hug there pal. I've been there. You are a good son and bother.

DonnyThompson, post: 454851, member: 46114 wrote: I wish all my friends here, and all the members of RO, a great New Year's!! - if you happen to be gigging tonight, take it easy out there, as it's traditionally the night when drunks are at their worst, and deciding that drinking heavily and then getting behind the wheel of a car is perfectly fine. So... Be safe, OK? :)

Ah, the good old days. New Years Eve! I'm staying home sitting around a wood burning stove and enjoying the simple life of just being grateful I made it another year.
Best wishes and big hug from me to all

Telecaster Sun, 12/31/2017 - 13:08

@DonnyThompson

Sad news my friend I know you have been through a lot over the years, so even when your mum looks straight through you give her a smile and remember, she loved you and cared for you, as long as she could as her memory would let her.
Be strong my friend and I will send all my positive thoughts to you and your family.

Mike

DonnyThompson Tue, 01/02/2018 - 04:04

Thanks guys. I appreciate the support, it means a lot to me.
Day before yesterday, she recognized me and said my name. For a very brief moment she was my mom again, for about two minutes, and then, like someone had thrown a switch, she was gone again... Going back to wherever she is in her mind now. I think it may be somewhere in the very distant past; long before I was born, maybe even before she knew my dad. She's said some things that are sort of indicating that in her mind it's the 1940's... Most of it is just jibberish, but at times she'll talk about things - like my grandmother or grandfather - as if it were in the present reality.
Alzheimer's is a brutal thing to deal with...though I'm saying this as being on the receiving end of it; I have no idea whatsoever how it is for her. I'm hoping that wherever she lives in her mind, it is a happy place for her.
But it's really heartbreaking to have my own mother look right thru me as if I'm not even there...though that's not quite as bad as her asking me who I am, or asking the nurse or aid why there is a strange man in her room. It's been worse for my sister, who has been her primary caregiver for several years now. Sometimes my mom goes to a place where she says very hurtful things, being cruel to my sister, out of nowhere. I've been on the receiving end of that a time or two, but it seems to be aimed mostly at my sister.
Several days ago, she kept asking us if she was dying. We told her she wasn't, and assured her that we would be truthful with her about that when that time comes. It wasn't until I got into my car to drive home that I realized that she wasn't asking us that because she needed reassuring that she was not dying, but that she was actually hoping that she was dying and was hoping we would have told her yes.

Thanks for letting me vent guys. I know this topic has nothing to do with what RO is about...and please PLEASE know that if it's decided that this thread shouldn't be here, I would never be mad if it were deleted. I promise I won't. I just needed to vent, and you gave all very graciously allowed me to do that. It has meant a lot to me. Thank you all so much again for letting me talk about it.
:)
-d.

Davedog Tue, 01/02/2018 - 09:45

It was the same for my Father. One minute here the next minute somewhere else. A lot of years later after he passed, and with a lot of new information being available, I have come to the conclusion that it is the kind of thing that traps the persons mind to the point where they know where they are and who is around them, but the effort to weed through the tangle of thoughts is so great and so tiring that they give into the place that is easiest to comprehend. Take care as best you can.

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